The Kind Of Job You’ll Want To Have Soon In America

My friend A. has worked out where all the jobs are going to come from, under a GOP president:

We don’t need the government meddling in local affairs such as bridge safety.  Frankly, all roads and bridges should be privatized and maintained (or not) by the owners. Those bridges affording a pleasant crossing experience will receive numerous visits and the owners (who ostensibly will charge a fee for each use) will be handsomely rewarded.  Bridges exhibiting poor maintenance or which collapse and kill “crossing consumer units” will receive fewer visits and will not be as lucrative for the owners.  Why should government funds be used to deprive private ambulance services, private hospitals, private funeral homes, private cemeteries, and probate lawyers an opportunity to profit from the free-market decisions by bridge owners to curtail maintenance at “low margin” bridges?

(Emphasis mine)

Well done, A. You could start a parody blog with this, but I’m afraid a lot of people might seriously agree with you.
“Crossing consumer units” differs only from “biological material”* in that the former pays for the experience. Well, come to think of it, so did the latter.

*See Eichmann, Adolf.

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2 Responses to The Kind Of Job You’ll Want To Have Soon In America

  1. dirk gently says:

    once the fda has been abolished, i hope to be employed in the food tasting industry.

  2. Marcellina says:

    I hope you’ll be outsourcing the actual tasting. New hires every week. No need for pension plans.

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